South Dakota Advertising Federation

By Paul Ten Haken, Click Rain

Having recently returned from a layover-laden business trip, it’s time to address a few things that need to change in the world of airline travel.  Everyone has unique hot buttons when they travel, but I would dare bet the ones below are pretty universally annoying.  Call it a rant, being crabby, whatever you want…but if we could address the items below, travel could actually be fun again. Here we go…

1. Lady, stop talking on your bluetooth headset and looking right at me when you are five feet from me.  In fact, stop talking on it at all.  Holding the phone to your head is easier than it looks.
2. When you feel your chair ramming into something hard when you recline, those are legs.  People use them to walk.  Stop ramming into them.
3. Don’t pass gas on the plane.  Seems like that one shouldn’t have to be spelled out, but after my recent trip, it does.
4. The flight attendant is not your personal servant.  Treat him/her with respect and courtesy, like saying “please” and “thank you”.  See also: Steven Slater.
5. When everyone is standing in line to talk to the counter agent, don’t cut in front and say, “I just have a quick question.”  We all just have quick questions.  Back of the line, holmes.
6. The armrest is neutral territory.  It’s a delicate balance in order to achieve full ownership of the armrest, but understand that you must be willing to relinquish control at times in order to appease your row-mate.
7. If you are in sales, that is great.  I am in sales too.  But know when to shut off the sales valve…like when you are sitting next to someone who does not care about your product, service, or whatever you are selling.
8. If you are the pilot, I expect you to wash your hands after you go to the bathroom.  Not sure why I expect this, I just do.  You are a pilot – a hero to many young and old.  And I just saw my hero leave the john without washing his hands.
9. It’s my computer screen. Stop looking at it.
10. Similar to #5, treat the counter agents with some class.  When a flight is canceled or an unexpected issue arises with the airline, these people instantly have the absolute worst jobs in the world.  Try and make their day with a smile and a “hello”.

We put a man on the moon, so it’s fairly realistic we can take care of the items above. I dare bet some Delta Bischoff cookies on it. Together, we can restore travel in the US of A to its once glamorous and (dare I say?) exciting status.